1:

Thursday, November 15, 2007

BAR WARS...LONG, LONG AGO IN A CITY NOT SO FAR AWAY...

HELP!!!! The 2 a.m. "bar wars" issue is coming to a vote next Monday night and I can't do a thing with my hair.....oops, wrong existential problem. Check out http://www.annapolispolitics.blogspot.com/ for what publisher Brian Gill calls his "magnum opus" on this issue. It's a long one and he is fired up about it (What's a magnum opus anyhow? Is that a really large penguin or something? Or is that a penguin in a really large bottle?)

So see what he has to say because this is going to be a doozey at City Council on Monday. It would be nice to see the bar owners unite and show the rest of us that they are serious about controlling unruly patrons. Maybe they could hire the Blackwater goons?

But I think that urinating in a flower bed at 3 am is an urban (or at least a urological) problem. Don't downplay stuff like that. Downtown residents and business owners have been fighting since God was a baby. This is just the latest skirmish. As Yeats said, "Now his wars on God begin, at stroke of midnight God shall win"....Okay, WB, would that really be midnight or will it be 2 am??? And if not God, will it be the bar owners or the downtown residents? Is there a difference in this town?

PLASTIC BAGS, BAR CLOSINGS ETC

City Council Agenda for Monday, November 19:
http://www.annapolis.gov/upload/images/government/council/agendas/Nov192007.pdf

A CHARMING, INNOVATIVE AND INTELLIGENT CITY....VENICE ON THE SEVERN???

Some years ago, Annapolis Architect John Alt developed a visionary plan for a "people mover" style transit system for Annapolis that he called "a horizontal elevator". Visit: http://www.villagetechnology.com .

CP was pleased to attend the ceremony in Washington where Alt was honored along with many other designers for different urban transit innovations. Recently Alt penned a hypothetical letter written in 2013 by a couple named Romeo Montague and Juliet (uh--Capulet??) from Venezia (aka Venice as in gondolas, Rialto, Lido etc...) who visited Annapolis. It is not known how sea level rise affected either city. CP does not know if they got a parking ticket during their visit. Below, Alt's letter:

"June 3, 2013 Ciao Annapolis! Have just returned to our beloved Venezia-but must congratulate you for nearly stealing our hearts away. What a charming, innovative and intelligent city you have become since our last visit in 2008! On that trip things were grim indeed. (Juliet swore never to return!) We drove our rental car from BWI and spent nearly 45 minutes getting around West Gate Circle so we could check into our hotel. Juliet wanted to go immediately to City Dock, but the hotel shuttle got stuck in traffic on West Street. The driver finally took a "short-cut" through a residential neighborhood and managed to drop us off a couple of blocks from the Market House-which we were disappointed to discover was mostly empty! Juliet was shocked to see the waterfront was a parking lot! And we ended up walking all the way back rather than wait for the trapped hotel shuttle. Poor Juliet. She had to lie down the rest of the afternoon! What a difference five years has made! On this trip, not only did we zip into our Hotel, we were delighted to discover in the lobby one of your innovative XPLORE PASS kiosks! We bought two passes, played with the interactive city map, and planned an itinerary for the day. Most thrilling, however, was discovering the XPLORE PASS had rendered the dreaded hotel shuttle obsolete! Instead, the concierge directed us outside to SMRrTRAM Stop No.1. Here it comes! said Juliet almost immediately. And there it was, the bright red tram-car coming silently toward us, following its special narrow lane along the edge of the sidewalk. Each Tram Stop, we discovered, had its own XPLORE PASS kiosk and interactive map. We got off at Stop No. 3 and found that Lemongrass was offering a free appetizer special (we decided to come back for lunch.) At Stop No. 6, we learned that Intimate Apparel was offering a 10% discount (Juliet bought three silk negligees!) Back outside, we waited only a couple minutes for two more SMRrTRAMs to arrive-one coming from each direction. We stepped on the one continuing on down to City Dock. What a surprise! The parking lot Juliet dreaded seeing again was completely gone! In its place we discovered one of the most charming-and enchantingly green- mini-parks we've had the pleasure of strolling in. Not only that, but presiding over the park was the old Market House, now filled with local vendors offering everything from fresh fish, crabs and oysters, local cheeses, organic produce and flowers to gourmet takeout and hand-made soaps, lotions and chocolates! We browsed nearly an hour. A local woman (with celery and baguettes sticking out of her canvas shopping bag) was ahead of us at checkout. Before paying, she inserted what looked like a pre-printed shopping list into a machine reader. What's that? Juliet asked. My weekly order for dry goods, the lady replied. All those cans and paper-goods and toothpaste get delivered to my door from a warehouse out on West Street! Oh my! said Juliet. Oh my, indeed! I said. We need that in Venice! Outside were vendors too, selling crafts and handmade specialty foods from little stalls with bright awnings. Where have all the cars got parked? Juliet asked a young cheese-maker. They mostly park off Taylor Avenue, he replied. It's actually easier for folks to get down here now than when they could park right there across the street. Have you got an XPLORE PASS? Why, yes, says Juliet. Free sampler, then, said the vendor-and he dropped a little bag of cheese cubes into her shopping bag. (We later went back and ordered a round to be shipped home!) It only took five minutes to get back to Lemongrass for lunch and our complimentary appetizers (with one quick get-off at Stop No. 5 where Juliet had spied a watercolor in an art store window.) We returned after lunch and bought it. Now it's hanging in our little breakfast nook overlooking the Calle Cazza: A watercolor rendering of the red SMRrTRAMs loading and unloading shoppers on Main Street Annapolis, USA! Wasn't that a lovely trip? Juliet says gazing at the watercolor. Yes, indeed! Ciao Annapolis! Well be back soon.
Romeo Montague"

JOE GROSS’ SWAN SONG: 1573 WORDS AND THE “I’s” HAVE IT

First it was Eric Smith and now, drum roll please, the exit of Joe Gross. Thank You Capital Editors for responding to CP’s call to retire them (okay--so I am being presumptuous…). Perhaps now we can get some meaningful columnists to add to Eric Hartley’s new column. Eric Smith and Joe Gross needed to be put out to pasture and the early retirement buyout made it happen. Here’s to them--and us! But first, we could not let Joe go without examining his last column.
One of CP’s loyal readers asked, “Did you read Gross's retirement column? I’ve never seen so many "I"'s, and thought he was going to end with ‘I am the greatest!’”
Well thanks, and now CP is pleased to report that it’s true. Joe’s inanities will hopefully never again grace the pages of The Capital. If we are to believe Joe, the reason the paper is a success is because of him. In a typical rambling and almost incoherently narcissistic tome of 1573 words, Joe uses the pronoun “I” 20 times--and that’s only in the first 13 paragraphs. He writes “I’m” and “I’ve” more times than I care to count.
Click here
http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2007/11_14-06/SPO
if you wish to count the “I’s” and learn how Joe single-handedly, well, pretty much did everything, with the possible exception of saving the world. Or maybe he did that too. At least Eric was self-deprecating in his last column.
Here are a few of Joe's tidbits:

“I like to think that I played a major role in helping The Capital grow from the 18,000 circulation when I arrived to the 49,000 it reached a few years ago. And during the early years I also single-handedly put together the sports sections in the Maryland Gazette.
I worked to make the sports sections larger and more comprehensive than they had ever been. I was the first to cover Navy road games, I was the first Capital sports writer to cover the Orioles, Colts and Redskins on a regular basis. Long before Gary Jobson came to the Annapolis area, I initiated sailing coverage, something that has grown to mammoth proportions.”


He likens himself to Gary Jobson! And more…

“Being an opinionated person helped me try to get the attention of local readers by writing more than puff and fluff.”

Sure Joe, as if this column is not the crowning achievement, the Swan Song of your huff and puff. Did that sentence even make sense, or exhibit proper English?
Try this one, which by the way, is rambling but not as rambling as many of his sentences:

“The high school coverage was and is the life's blood of The Capital. I believe that covering the high school athletes and seeing them grow into adulthood as college or professional athletes or, more importantly, to become responsible members of the community is the most rewarding thing I've done, though to some it may not seem the most glamorous.”

Do CP readers agree that high school sports is the “lifeblood” of our local newspaper? How about that long-winded sentence? Is Joe saying he takes credit for writing about, or credit for the success of these athletes?

It gets worse. After tooting his own horn for one endless sentence and paragraph followed by another, he writes:

"From the old typewriter and variety of computers have come more than 10,000 stories, more than 2,000 columns and, if I may toot my own horn, a shelf full of trophies, plaques and certificates for stories deemed to be the best written in Maryland in their respective categories."

Yes Joe, of course you may toot your own horn. What else do you do? What more can anyone say about the most illustrious sports writer, indeed columnist, and perhaps greatest writer, if not human being that has ever lived? How could we possibly say enough or do enough to show our appreciation for Joe?
Hmmm…..I’m thinking…..

Only a few hours after Joe's column appeared, a writer sent in a comment to The Capital:
"Fair winds and following seas to you. What an amazing career and life of service to your readers. How about writing a book about the life of a sportswriter now that you have the time?"

Gee--is CP the only one who thinks Joe sent this letter in? It sounds just like him, writing about him. He better hurry before an unauthorized version is published. Other sportswriters have told CP that they are considering writing a book about Joe's lies, er I mean, Joe's life.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

FIRST THE MARKET HOUSE, NOW THE POLICE STATION...WHAT NEXT?? CITY DOCK???

Today's Capital reports that the City has filed an $8 million dollar suit against the insurance company holding the bond for the construction company renovating our police station. See the story here: http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2007/11_14-29/TOP. Annapolis Politics has his thoughts about it at http://www.annapolispolitics.blogspot.com/.

The mayor's reaction is colorful enough that we are both repeating her quote:

"In retrospect, I should have followed the course of previous mayors and done nothing to improve the police facility. I thought our force deserved better than the obsolete headquarters we had outgrown. No crystal ball revealed that our low bid minority contractor would deliver such an inferior product."

No, in retrospect she and her staff should have stayed on top of this thing before it went from bad to worse. Annapolis Politics likens this to her "throwing in the proverbial towel" but I think she's just incredibly exasperated at this--and a thousand other things not going her way--such as her relationship with the police chief and the ongoing problems with the Market House. However, that mess is probably more her administration's fault than is this current crisis. CP gives Mayor Moyer credit for championing the much needed renovation of our police station and encourages her to keep fighting on this one. You did the right thing to push for the renovation Madame Mayor. Of course you did not have to blame previous mayors. Just do what we need to do to get it fixed. Thank you for your efforts here--we need this done.

One possible telling thing here. CP invites you to visit the contractor's website at http://jggarcete.com/intro.html and click on "current projects". It shows our police station as having a March, 2006 completion date. Why even on their own website do they show it as a current project with a completion date of 1.5 years ago? It gets worse. They show two jobs for the National Park Service as having completion dates of 2004, a DC government completion date of 2004 and an NIH completion date of 2006. Remember--this is under "current projects". Is this just a minor matter of website updating or is it telling us something--something really bad? On the other hand, they renovated Bates Middle School and that seemed to go well. Elsewhere on their web-site it says they have a bonding capacity of $15 million. Let's hope it's enough.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

A RABBI WALKS INTO A COMEDY CLUB AND SAYS....

Actually, this Rabbi is already a comic and he is walking into Temple Beth Sholom in Arnold this Saturday night. Come hear Bob Alper, rabbi and standup comic on November 17 at 7:30. Temple Beth Sholom is at 1461 Baltimore Annapolis Blvd.

Advance tickets are $20 or $25 at the door. Call the temple at 410-757-0552 for details.

"DRY BONES" TAKE ON UPCOMING SO-CALLED MIDEAST PEACE CONFERENCE

Yaakov Kirschen, whose comic strip Dry Bones can best be decribed as the Israeli Doonesbury, shows his cartoons of the upcoming so-called peace conference which may, or may not, take place in Annapolis in late November.
Enjoy his cartoons at http://drybonesblog.blogspot.com/ .

AT 12:11 ON 11:13 WE HAD 11,111 SITE VISITS

and now from the useless filler department of meaningless stuff...Okay...this would have been really, really weird if it happened on 11-11 and it had still been daylight savings time, as it would have meant 11,111 site visits on 11-11 at 1:11. And what if it happened in 2011? You think I'm making this up just to blow smoke? Never. It actually almost happened. I am anxiously awaiting confirmation from The National Bureau of Standards atomic clock in Fort Collins, Colorado. If that does not happen, at least it will get written up in The National Inquirer...or is that Enquirer? I mean, this inquiring/enquiring mind wants to know....oops, while we were writing it just turned to 11,112

AND NOW, MORE RANTS FROM THE GREAT UNWASHED MASSES... abortion again!!

Some folks who inhabit the blogosphere seem to think it exists just for endless debate and rancor. This is especially true of some of the more conservative bloggers in Anne Arundel County who never miss an opportunity to throw mud, insult, castigate or carry on mean spiritied, endless debate and rancor. Did I say that already? However, The Capital provides yet another opportunity for folks to go on and on and on about issues in which they never have the least bit of interest in really sorting out or understanding from the other point of view, but merely wish to ARGUE!!! It can be found not only in the letters section from time to time, but can also be found online:
http://www.hometownannapolis.com/your_say.html

Can you imagine arguing with anyone about abortion or gun control? What for? But to do it from the comfort of their own home and just sling charges back and forth across a computer screen is ridiculous. I have provided my favorite comments below in response to a letter by ANNE SIMONETTI of Crofton who compares abortion to the Nazi organized extermination of my people during World War 2. She actually says this issue is so simple and the comparison is so clear that, "This is not rocket science." I say, hey lady--tell that to Werner Von Braun. He built rockets for whoever paid him. And herewith are some of the rants. Enjoy:

5 days 8 hours ago

Due to violations of our rules of participation this comment has been removed.
Staff message: Stacking of comments not allowed. See rules on multiple posts. A Eason - Internet Director

5 days 18 hours ago
Due to violations of our rules of participation this comment has been removed.
Staff message: Stacking of comments not allowed. See rules on multiple posts. A Eason - Internet Director

6 days 8 hours ago

Due to violations of our rules of participation this comment has been removed.
Staff message: Stacking of comments not allowed. See rules on multiple posts. A Eason - Internet Director

AM I missing something? Tell me, what am I missing????

DOGS AND STARS AT BARS BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND 2 AM....WHEN THE "STARS" AND THE "DOGS" COME OUT

CP just had to laugh at this one. "Sky Canine" and his brother "Orion Canine"?

FROM THE ANNAPOLIS POLICE CRIME WATCH REPORT

6. DISTURBANCE: 11/10 1:09 AM 113 Main St. O'Brien's - an unruly crowd was observed with several subjects pushing & shoving each other. Officers moved to disperse the crowd. All complied except Sky Canine, 31, of Crofton. He was arrested and charged with Disorderly Conduct. His brother, Orion Canine, 24, of Admiral Dr., objected to and protested the arrest of his brother. His actions served to gather the crowd again. He was also arrested and charged with Disorderly Conduct. (07-006702)

Yeah-the stars and the dogs were out that night. Good thing we had enough officers on patrol to catch those dogs. Did they have to use the K-9 officers? Maybe they should have called animal control? They were making a couple of "ass-trologers" out of themselves.

THE BILLION DOLLAR PRESIDENT

NPR's John Hockenberry sets up a water cooler in New York City and begins a conversation with Americans about the presidential campaign, THE BILLION DOLLAR PRESIDENT. Click here for the video:

http://www.billiondollarpresident.org/2007/11/03/americas-watercooler-hits-the-streets/

and then visit the rest of the site. Did you notice how the wacky guy who wants to give young ladies karate lessons is wearing his bike helmet backwards? Or is it just that his head is screwed on backwards???

OUR LOCAL REPUBLICAN FRIENDS ON THE MOYER ADMINISTRATION

Our friends who have chosen to express their political interests within The Republican or Grand Old Party, a.k.a. the "GOP" (also known in some circles as "the party of Lincoln" and in others as "those @$%# Republicans) have posted their take on the highlights of the Moyer Administration at their web site:
www.annapolisrepublicans.org/polnotes.htm

Read it. Agree with it. Disagree with it. Whatever. Just don't shoot the messenger.

Monday, November 12, 2007

IT'S OFFICIAL...ERIC SMITH IS LEAVING THE CAPITAL...CAN JOE GROSS BE FAR BEHIND?

CP posted his hopes that Capital columnist and cartoonist Eric Smith would take the early retirement plan the paper was offering to long-time employees. He did. Hooray! Not necessarily for Smith leaving, but in the hope that a more sophisticated, considerate and accountable columnist and cartoonist will replace him. We can only hope. For his complete final column, see here: http://www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2007/11_12-22/COL

If you'd rather spare yourself, CP excerpts the choice parts for your reading pleasure in red italics:

I know that many of you disagreed with my views throughout the years.
Some of you, in fact, have made it plain that you think I'm an ornery, opinionated pinhead, if not a downright dope.

That's putting it mildly, something that you have rarely done. It's not your opinions that are the problem, it's when you deliberately twist and turn and through use of exaggerations or omissions, you attempt to tell your readers only what you want them to know with a callous disregard for any facts, any semblance of truth or anything that will help them understand anything--except that you are as you say, an opinionated pinhead.

I don't blame you.

Whew! That's a load off my shoulders. I don't have to take the blame for Eric being the only one with opinions. Thanks Eric.

But here is where Eric come to admit what CP has been consistently saying for years about his worthless rants:

I have always held that columns are fundamentally different from news stories and feature articles. Columns are not supposed to be fair, balanced or objective. They should be unbalanced, subjective and unsettling as often as possible.

Where to begin? Well, fundamentally yes, they are expressing your opinion or your interpretation or analysis of events and issues that should matter. Usually you wrote about things of little import. When you did, you provided little or no insight. You have now shown without any doubt that you have never understood the difference between a guy on the street ranting and raving versus a seasoned reporter or writer whose voice resonates, who helps us understand the issues around us. I don't mean to suggest every columnist can be a Daniel Schorr or William F. Buckley, a David Broder an Ellen Goodman, a Thomas Friedman or a George Will, or a Richard Cohen. But those writers really understand and provide we the readers with insight, with a well argued point of view. They at least understand that they have a responsibility to their readers. They understand that they are given space--column inches, ink and a salary. They have an obligation to write about things we do not or cannot know about--to make the unfamiliar knowable to us. They have to be accountable--otherwise they are like someone you meet at a bar who is going off about this or that.

Dear Eric, everybody understands a columnist is expected to express his or her opinions. That is not and has never been my issue with your writings. CP wishes you well.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL...SEE A PLAY...GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING

CP took the family to see "Once Upon A Wolf" at Annapolis High School on a recent Saturday night--and everybody loved it. CP liked the fact that an evening's entertainment for a family of four was only $15 (children under 12 are free). Panther Production's "Once Upon A Wolf" is an edgy spoof based on fairy tales, sort of like the movie, uh, what was the name of that movie where Little Red Riding Hood is told from the wolf's point of view???? Oh-I remember--it was "Hoodwinked."
Anyhow, the students put on a terrific play that proved entertaining for both young and old. The middle-schooler laughed the whole time and even the devil-may-care-teenager did not complain--meaning he liked it. All for $15! The only disappointment was the small turnout--sort of like our local elections.

Good things are happening in our schools. Go check it out, including their next play....For the first time, Annapolis High School’s newly formed Panther Productions will be presenting the holiday classic “The Nutcracker.” The performance is a collaboration of dance and theatre directed by Jillian Barber and Wendy Humphreys. You don’t want to miss this unique rendition of The Nutcracker. The theatre department will present Act I and the Dance Company and Jr. Company will present Act II. In what will become an annual event, this premier performance is only $7 at the door and $5 if you get your tickets in advance. The performance will be held at Annapolis High School on Friday, November 30, at 7 p.m.; Saturday, December 1, at 7 p.m.; and Sunday, December 2, at 3 p.m. Bring your families and friends, and start a new tradition with us. For tickets you can call 410-266-5240 or email jbarber@aacps.org.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty, which will protect the beauty of our natural environment, which will preserve the great old American houses and squares and parks of our national past and which will build handsome and balanced cities for our future.
John F. Kennedy

blogger templates | Make Money Online