Annapolis Capital Punishment

Lest anyone out there still think that Eastport remains "quaint" or "charming", today's Capital will lay that notion to rest forever. While I and others wondered what the searchlights in the sky were for on New Year's Eve, we learn that it was just one of the many ostentatious excesses on display at a James Bond themed party held at a gated, waterfront home. According to The Capital, "At the gate, one 'greeter' wore a pristine white dinner jacket. Very Casablanca. His partner wore all black with a black knit cap, accented with an Uzi. In a window behind them, a neon sign blared: 'Casino Royale.' Mr. -------- home had been transformed into 'Bond Land'."

Very Casablanca indeed. Casablanca as in White House.

Sure doesn't sound like Harbour House or Eastport Terrace, just a few blocks away. They don't have Uzis there. Or do they?

It keeps getting better.

"Past the ice sculpture, a gruff-looking tuxedo-clad gentleman ordered all guests to place their right palm on a special security screen. After a moment, guests were cleared to either 'Enter,' 'Enter with an escort' or 'Shoot on sight'."

"It's all part of the fun," he [the host]said with a wink."

Shoot on sight? Now that sounds more like the Eastport I know.


Truly. We live in the best of times and the worst of times.

And it keeps getting better.

"A trio of Bond girls jiggled and swayed behind a transparent plastic screen. A close look revealed the shapely dancers were wearing only flesh-colored bikini underwear, large flower-shaped pasties and lots of body paint."

Jiggled and swayed. No doubt. Sounds like West Street now.

Reminds me of Ursula Andress. And now the descriptions of the delectable vixens serving food:

"Another waitress, 'Scuba Girl' Giovanna Pinsig of Washington, wore a skintight scuba top, a scuba bikini bottom and an aqualung as part of her abbreviated costume while serving crab soup in cordial glasses."

(NOTE: Think about that sentence for a moment--did that mean that Scuba girl was costumed in cordial glasses?"

Hmmm....lovely. We read of "another large bar [that] was flanked by two giant dripping handguns, sculpted from blocks of ice."

"Though it was all for fun, at the party's conclusion, Mr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [the host] donated $2,500 to the Boys and Girls Clubs of Annapolis."

Yes, all in good fun. Good, ostentatious, gluttonous fun. And we had to include the part about the charitable $2500, a drop in the bucket, no doubt. Was it delivered in a paper bag in unmarked bills? Did the kiddies get the Uzi or the ice blocks shaped like guns? Did their arts and crafts club get the leftover body paint?

To read the article and see the photos (in case you've got to know who was there) visit www.hometownannapolis.com/cgi-bin/read/2008/01_08-29/CAN.

The Capital will explain who hosted the party which includes two paragraphs describing his local businesses and including a website address for one of them (!!).

And people wonder why we wonder about The Capital sometimes. (For disclosure purposes, CP is on a first-name basis with the writer, but that does not make the story any less frivolous...)