Annapolis Capital Punishment

CP Reader Tim Hamilton sends us another much appreciated and thoughtful comment.

Okay, I read your response. Twice. And I even looked up "anthropogenic." Plus, I minored in Irony in college. So I get your point. And I agree, as does every legitimate scientist, that humans are contributing, to some extent, to the warming of the planet.

Global warming, as a concept, is extraordinarily complex and is oversimplified by both liberals and conservatives. People need to understand that global warming doesn't mean that Marylanders will be grilling on the back deck in their boxers every Christmas from now on. In fact, computer models predict that the cold waters from the melting polar caps will interrupt the warming effects of the Gulf Stream, which will, in turn, significantly cool off temperate zones over thousands of years, even though the AVERAGE global temperature will increase. But what do I know, being that I am in proud possession of a "Bob Ryan Junior Meteorologist" badge and they don't just give those out to just anybody, my friend.

By the by, isn't a trend actually linear by definition?
Tim Hamilton


Dear Tim: Thank you for actually reading! Have you really got a Bob Ryan badge? Without any sarcasm whatsoever, CP loves it when readers identify themselves and send in thoughtful comments. And by the way, you are correct that there are enormous unknowns, known unknowns and unknown unknowns.... Herewith, my metered response:

From the Merriam Webster Online Dictionary
"TREND"
1 a: to extend in a general direction : follow a general course b: to veer in a new direction : bend 2 a: to show a tendency : incline b: to become deflected : shift


From Wikipedia re: "anthropogenic"
The global average air temperature near the Earth's surface rose 0.74 ± 0.18 °C (1.33 ± 0.32 °F) during the 100 years ending in 2005.[1] The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concludes "most of the observed increase in globally averaged temperatures since the mid-20th century is very likely due to the observed increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations"[1] via the greenhouse effect.


"Irony" as defined by Capital Punishment:

Okay, so you plug in an iron and stick your hand on it. You slowly, every so slowly turn up the heat. Over a long period you don’t notice that the iron is slowly heating up. After a really, really long time, you begin to wonder if the temperature is changing. Is it going up? Going down? How fast? Why? Is there a trend? Is it because somebody turned up the heat or is it just natural? Then you begin to feel as if maybe it really is getting hotter, so they call in the International Ironing Board.
They study it, but Rush Limbaugh says it’s impossible and that it’s just a conspiracy on the part of Al Gore who has been yelling in your ear that the iron is indeed heating up. Scientists are lined up. Tons of them tell you it is heating up. A few others say not so! The Ironing Board issues more reports. Of course, our media report on this as if there really is a huge controversy, even though the handful of scientists are all paid by the National Association of Iron Vituperative Eggheads (NAIVE) and voted for Attilla the Hun in the last anschluss and beer hall putsch! Your hand keeps telling your head that it is heating up, so you study it and study it. Yep, it is heating up you find, but wait, NAIVE says not so! More studies. You hook up more and more thermometers to the iron but some argue that the results are inconclusive, that the study was flawed, the thermometers were made in China and so they can’t be trusted (yeah it seems they ran out of mercury because they were putting in their food and toys instead) and that we really can’t afford to turn down the iron. Hmmm….Your hand keeps telling your head that it’s getting hotter. ….you wait…and wait….Is it really getting hotter? How much hotter? Why? What should I do?….then you notice that sweat is pouring off your hand and it’s really starting to hurt, but you say to yourself, I must be imagining this, it can’t be happening. meanwhile, your insurance company, known to be about as conservative as Ron Paul, cancels your coverage because they can't take the heat. Your skin starts to melt, but the nerve damages keeps you from felling any pain and the nice folks at NAIVE have given you free morphine shots. Aw hell, just throw another shrimp on the Barbie!
That’s the Capital Punishment definition of irony…….and I just can’t wait to hear what the NAIVE hyperconservatives say about this one!