Annapolis Capital Punishment

It's official. The two leading local government figures are tying the knot. In a surprise announcement that has left many stunned, Anne Arundel County Executive John Leopold and Annapolis Mayor Ellen "O" Moyer have announced plans to wed this fall. What a wedding it will be! The two lovebirds plan to ride a city bus from Parole to City Dock where they will exchange vows--and rings from aboard a floating dock at the breakup of the bustling US Sailboat Show this coming October. They plan to honeymoon on the rivers and creeks of Anne Arundel County from aboard their floating dock, stopping at the waterfront homes of various campaign contributors.

"We're in love. No doubt about it," said Leopold, while enjoying a quick bite of lunch with his beloved between meetings at Chick and Ruths Delly on Main Street in beautiful Annapolis. "But it's not just matrimony, it's more like a merger. We're doing this not just for each other, but for all city and county residents as well."

"More like a friendly takeover," quipped Ellen Moyer, who is approaching the last year of her second and final term as mayor of Maryland's historic state capital. The mayor did not indicate who was taking what over from whom.

Moyer, a classic liberal Democrat, and Leopold, a moderate Republican have often been at odds over a variety of public matters, which seems to be a tradition no matter who holds these two offices. This is in spite of the fact that the general public suffers because of lack of cooperation in so many essential areas. This could change and it seems that these two have found common ground in their love for cats, their devotion to public service and in their comfortable, privileged backgrounds.

No doubt this means a new sandwich will be on the menu at the local greasy spoon landmark where we founds the two enjoying lunch. Ted Levitt, owner of Chick and Ruths was somewhat coy when asked about it. "Might be something with oil and vinegar dressing to symbolically make a point. One half might be white bread, the other rye perhaps. One of our regulars suggested it could be spicy tongue combined with red peppers and old goat cheese based on a Hawaiian recipe," said the gregarious restauranteur.

Many are already speculating on who will perform the ceremony, or if it will simply be a civil ceremony.

"Well, Mr Leopold is Jewish by birth, although there are no indications that he either recognizes or appreciates that fact. However, he will probably at least dance a hora," said a high-level associate of Mr. Leopold who asked not to be identified.

"The Mayor holds allegiance to no particular religious ideology," said her press secretary, May Leaveher. "It will be a civil ceremony. At least as civil as anything can be with her."

There is no word yet on whether Main Street Jeweler and Republican Delegate Ron George will provide the rings or whether they will come from some other local jeweler with ties to the Democratic party. However, it has already been widely rumored that there will be two parties at this wedding. One will be low key with finger food while the other will be an extravagant blowout based completely on "politically correct" and "green" food, drink and entertainment. No word yet on whether the two plan to use their wedding day parties as a way to raise campaign funds.

Enjoy April Fool's Day.