Annapolis Capital Punishment

I'll get to the mayor in a moment. If you like "lifestyle" and "feel good" magazines, you won't like this posting and will probably complain that CP is being negative. Oh well. Go read "What's Up Annapolis" if you need an injection of elitist, snobbish, hoity-toity, vacuous and conspicuous consumption "lifestyle" culture. If not...read on.

I could wax eloquent about the dangers and pitfalls of this local pub and its tinier competitor "Inside Annapolis" but they are not worth the trouble...unless you are paying me to do it. Pick them up, browse through them, put them down, recycle them, line the bird cage with them, or whatever. Just read them with as critical an eye as you would read, say, this blog for example. Or take my word for it and avoid them all together.

If I had to choose between which one to take on a desert island, I'd choose "What's Up" since it has prettier pictures and is printed on nicer paper. The food layouts are nice. Looking at the fake waterfalls in high-priced landscaped backyards might help too.

But wait, the mayor and three other local leading ladies grace this month's cover. I'll focus on...let's see, the mayor. Yeah the mayor. I picked up the mag in the doctor's office today and just about gagged. "What's Up"? My blood pressure! My pulse! My temperature! The nurse quickly ushered me in to see the doctor. Without a second hesitation, he thoughtfully pulled up CP on his laptop to give me a dose of truthful medicine and I got back to normal. Vitals okay....I put "What's Up" down....and the doctor advised me against reading such harmful, toxic reading material. Blood pressure--down. Temperature-down. Same for pulse.

The piece was a gushing, adulatory, effulsive, maudlin "puff piece" about our unpopular, unpleasant and difficult mayor. You know, the one who argues, fights and has to get the last word out...and never listens. Yeah that one. Well it seems that the "award winning" writer Laura Oliver and her editors think Mayor Moyer is a pleasant and polite leader whose virtuous hallmarks are teamwork, collaboration, democratic participation and listening. They even swallowed her oft-used and fallacious quote about Annapolis having three times the national average of police officers per capita (yes that one...again). What planet are they from?. (What's Up Mars? Inside Pluto?)

So pick up your copy of "What's Up", but be warned. Make sure you are in a doctor's office, because if you think the truth hurts, you should try utter fabrication. And when Annapolis wants to know what is up, or what is inside, Annapolitans will have to look carefully....very carefully, but not in "lifestyle" or "feel good" publications.