Annapolis Capital Punishment

This is just too funny not to share:

From a Craigslist posting titled To the little asshole that broke into my house today

Here are a couple tips:

#1. Don't break into a house that neighbors a cops.

#2. Just b/c I didn't answer when you ring the doorbell a couple times, does NOT mean I'm not home. It means I didn't want to answer the door for you, b/c you might be a robber. Turns out you were.

#3. When you sneak in the side door of my house... that little chirping when you open the door means the house is armed and there will be a girl waiting for you with a hole punch in her hand ready to throw it at you. And I did.

#4. If you plan on robbing someones house, don’t wear a black shirt w/ neon dots.. b/c the cops found you within 3 minutes of me calling them on the side of Rt. 301.

#5. When there is a count of 10 police officers, a K-9 unit ,helicopter hovering above and traffic is stopped on the highway..... it’s probably not wise to “resist arrest”. Because the police will beat you down. And they did.

#6. When you run away from a house that you just tried to rob, make sure you don’t run out of your shoes, because they’re getting a warrant to get the DNA from them and pin you down to your crime.

All in all, it was an exciting day. I will admit I felt sorry for you when the cops were hitting you with that stick but that passed by quickly. Your mom probably bailed your dumbass out of jail by now, but it’s okay and that brings me to my last tip:

#7. A wise man once said “Don’t shit where you eat.” Meaning don’t rob a house that you live 10 doors down from, you. Heard it over dispatch.

Hope you had a great day in jail, you little shit.

Love, The furious girl w/ the hole punch