Do you get invited to Facebook, MySpace or Linkedin or other such cyber-networks? All kinds of people link up with these things but don't know their neighbors. Why? Because they are on the computer all the time. Dunnnh!
In response to one of these mediated email invites, I wrote a personal reply to the friend who had it sent through Facebook. It went something like this:
It's nice to hear from you, but I prefer not to mess with any of those web driven contrivances. I'd much prefer an occasional letter or phone call or visit.....but you know how I am in that regard. Hell-except for this invitation to use a moderated and commercial site to mediate communication, any communication between you and me has always been initiated by me--until this one, which, as I say, came mediated.
If you've got room in your life and time to make facebook stuff--and I suppose it serves a useful purpose for many--it just does not interest me, I wish you well with it.
Perhaps when you're thinking of coming east again or you'd like to hook up for real--in person--I may just hear from you. I've developed a rather curmudgeonly personal philosophy about communication in the modern world. Let me tell you..I was at a big wedding tonight--500 people, very fancy and great, loud live music, dancing, food and drink galore and flowers from the Garden of Eden....yet while the bride's father was giving a brief speech, a toast, most folks went on talking and talking--ignoring and disrespecting him, making it hard for others to hear. Yet right next to me, three people at a table of ten were busily typing and pressing buttons on their cellphones. People were on cellphonex sending text and talking all over the reception. A few years ago, at the wedding of the bride's sister, a guy next to me was busy making cellphone calls in the middle of the wedding ceremony!!! I asked him to please stop or to continue with it outside, as it was disrespectful to the wedding, was distracting me and disrupted the event. He threatened to physically harm me! A wedding guest to another!
What about busy, busy, busy people who cannot even return a phone call or answer an email?--and when it is so cheap and so easy!
I used to call a friend to meet for breakfast or lunch. He was a busy professor--always too busy, but he has since retired and guess what? He's still too busy. But we manage to get together--and have a great, rollicking conversation about all kinds of stuff, but it's always me who initiates the call. He has never returned a call without a delay of two or three weeks--and sometimes never returns them.
About two weeks ago I tried for one last time, and called him, and same thing. No reply. I happened to see him the other day at a store. He launched right into an apology about how I was on his list but he was so busy, he had a hard month etc., etc....and I am sure he did. But so what? I asked him if he knew the story of the boy who cried wolf. I said how disappointing it was and while I understood how busy he can be, I cannot figure out what is the problem. He can't return a phone call or send an email?
I'm gonna call him to apologize. I was a bit heavy handed, but I really was disappointed. It has happened many times before. What am I--a masochist?
My philosophy about all of this is simple: The more electronic devices a person has and the more time a person spends on those devices, the less actual communication takes place between people. Maybe I'll call if Foer's Reverse Correlation Law of Diminishing Communication. Hmm... too complicated. I'll work on another one.
Another example--a very busy and self-important neighbor with a lot of money drives, er speeds, his fancy black, Land Rover down my street from his fancy, white, waterfront home with the sprawling green lawn on the way to his office or wherever...making phone calls on his "Blue Tooth". As he is busy doing this, perhaps talking to some business partner in China, he speeds by the corner where my son and a few other children wait for their bus--and I believe his speeding was endangering them, and everyone else. You see, in his very busy world, he has to be in touch with people around the globe, and he has to do it while driving, but paying attention to children in his neighborhood is not as important.
I called him about it, and of course he answered via his "Blue Tooth" (which I had never even heard of--reminds me of Lt. Uhuru on The Enterprise--open a hailing frequency...) while he is on the train to New York. To his credit, he listened and was considerate and apologized. I think he meant it, but.... "I guess I was talking on my Blue Tooth and wasn't paying attention" he told me. Well-duh, yeah that's the problem my friend. Shut up and drive I am thinking, but I don't say it! So, just the other day, I see him doing the same thing again--speeding down my street, past the school bus stop and rolling past the stop sign in his fancy Land Rover. End of story? I dunno. I hope it does not have a sad ending.
So, it's a must do in the middle of a wedding, in the middle of driving, and we all get connected and hooked up and linked up and networked.....but we miss hearing the father toast the bride, fail to watch out for children waiting for their bus and fail our friends who don't want a mediated conversation.
Why it's nothing less than the downfall of civilization.
There you have it--perhaps I've told you more than you cared to hear. I just prefer to be, cellibate, you might call it.
