Here's the House to Rob If You Fancy African Art ~ Annapolis Capital Punishment
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Sunday, February 1, 2009

Here's the House to Rob If You Fancy African Art

(NOTE: If you're shocked or offended by what you are about to read, remember that the subject invited me and you and tens of thousands into her home--in all its intimate portraiture. CP is merely re-amplifying the news. This is not personal. I would not know the lady if I walked into her waterview bathroom...come to think of it...I did....Anyhow, I had been planning to spoof HOTW for a long time and this opportunity just presented itself at the right time)

This week's Home of the Week (HOTW) in the local paper is not the typically featured cookie cutter, neo-conservative, neo-colonial, neo-fascist, brick mansion with wall-to-wall white carpets and little princesses named Godiva and Antoinette. No, this architect and designer showcase waterfront place is filled with a really neat collection of African art. This homeowner has that rare combination of money and taste so lacking in Annapolis--and almost always so lacking in HOTW which brought to us through the miracle of modern newspapers.

It' nice but it's narcissistic and ostentatious. Why would anyone want to SHOW THE WORLD WHERE THEY SLEEP, COOK AND ELIMINATE THEIR BODILY WASTES? This is just the latest example of someone having way more than he or she needs, but read for yourself:

At the opposite end of the house, a guest bedroom and an office/gym complete the first floor.

In the office is a first for a "Home of the Week": Due to a bad back, Ms. B has difficulty carrying her suitcases from upstairs, and she travels often for work. So there it is - a suitcase elevator that travels between the first and second floor at the touch of a button.

Upstairs, a meditation room, another guest room and the master bedroom suite complete the home.

"I did not want to lift my head up to see the water," she said.

"One of the things I never wanted to do was change over closets by seasons again," Ms. B said, pointing to the two sides of her large closet. This side is nine months, this side is summer."

"I just love to sit by the water, hear the water...It's soothing, calming, centering for me.

Despite owning this amazing and amazingly expensive narcissistic home, "she travels often for work." I hope the Hyatt and Marriott can live up to her standards. She travels with a suitcase and has a gym but she needs a lift to get the suitcase upstairs.

Who lives in a home such as this? You can easily find out through the web. Read on:

"Her passion for understanding the impact of oppression on individuals and organizations has influenced her to focus on long term organizational change, strategic visioning, and developing the self-empowerment of women and people of color....She is able to use her skills in strategic planning, team building, and planning for change to help people challenge existing systems in order to eliminate oppressive policies and practices."

One of the goals of the organization with which she is affiliated is to, "Build systems, processes, and procedures that support and sustain inclusion."

Yeah. I too have a passion for understanding not only the oppression of individuals but their selfishness. No doubt she helps individuals build dream houses with water views so they can rid themselves of oppression by soothing themselves...while not lifting their head to look at the water. Yeah. Homes such as these and systems that build homes such as these are by their very nature, based on oppressive policies and practices. Like having a three-bedroom waterfront home all for yourself...complete with gym and suitcase elevator, just a couple miles from public housing projects where some people check in for a generation, or two, or three--but don't check out.

That seems pretty inclusive--for one person. The trouble is, there just ain't 'nuff waterfront, or land or water or resources of any kind for everyone to live that way--and maybe she does not see that maybe, just maybe there is a relationship between an elite living the way she does, and the masses living on a whole lot less?

Readers have seen her house and know she travels a lot, so all a criminal needs to do is find one of those days when she is off traveling for work. He could even use the water as his escape route--but beware--I think I spied an alarm system keypad in one of the photos. Of course, he'd probably have a hard time fencing the great collection of African art. Better to go for the jewelry.

Remember the article I just posted about the culture of victimization engendered in public housing? You know--If The Shoe Fits and all that? One of the public housing residents told city council that there are plenty of vacant places around Annapolis for her to live in. Well, here's one for her!Move in with the inclusion, empowerment, anti-oppression lady...someone's knocking at the door, somebody's ringing the bell, do me a favor, open the door and let 'em in.....I hear you knocking, but you can't come in...Just got home from Illinois lock the front door oh boy! Got to sit down take a rest on the porch....

I am not likely to get invited for real into the HOTW, but I have been to the The Museum of African Art on the National Mall at least three times--for free! Now that's the kind of inclusion I can support. Hey, I wonder if they're looking to expand their collection these days? I just happen to know of a place...just kidding.

Read all about the dream home for one and view the slide show, including the photo of the marble bathroom where inclusion lady does not have to raise her head to see the water at Home of the Week .

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7 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Pretty harsh!

Paul Foer said...

Fastest comment ever! Pretty harsh you say? Well, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. We got thousands living in public housing and we got thousands in fancy, waterfront homes. The rest of are stuck in the middle. I know that many do not agree with me but I believe it is a moral issue that some live like princesses and many live like paupers. But to live like a princess while getting rich off of working toward ending oppression???

Paul Foer said...

..and then having to show the whole world where you poop every morning?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for calling a hypocrite out, although I'm sure I'm hypocritical also. How about a new feature: Sustainable Home of the Week? Keep up the good work.

Paul Foer said...

Sustainable Home of the Week? SHOTW? Neat idea....thanks....but who called anyone a hypocrite? Certainly not me! Why, I never....As to whether or not you are a hypocrite, how could we know--you are anonymous? Do you want to start the SHOTW column?

fineart said...

I'm not so sure the National Museum of African Art would be interested in her collection. It looked "airport: to me.

Paul Foer said...

So did the suitcase elevator

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