Would You Want To Be "The Home Of The Week"? Not If Capital Punishment Gets A Laugh Out Of It... ~ Annapolis Capital Punishment

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Would You Want To Be "The Home Of The Week"? Not If Capital Punishment Gets A Laugh Out Of It...

The popular column in "Home of the Week" column in The Capital may be a source of some laughter and even bewilderment on my part, and while I can understand that many folks enjoy reading the well-written column and seeing the nice photographs, I cannot understand why someone would want to be featured. I mean, why not just put up a webcam and we can watch them prepare meals, vacuum the floor, shower, shave and sh-- in real time?

Some readers have joked with me that the column must be especially popular with the burglary crowd. ("Okay, single woman, works during the day, no dog, sliding doors back to the woods, fancy stereo against back wall.....nothing about her being an NRA member). Or better yet, the kidnapping crowd (Pretty cute, rosey cheeks, well-fed, parents obviously have money...take long vacations). Rarely however, does the column elicit much reader response, but last week's Bay Ridge rehab had nine [note...the number has climbed] responses, including some of course from the usual peripatetic suspects, but I found the unusual level of response to be interesting.

I agree with readers that the house is ugly. And it is. Personal opinion of course, but hey, I'm the publisher. You got a complaint? Write a comment...just sign your name. A bunch of grey boxes built around two differently sized garages. Square windows in a row. Green trim. A white concrete patio. Yuk. Have you see the view from the back? Pseudo Prairie-style. More square windows. Doesn't know what it is trying to be. Kind of like, well, a prison.  Some likened the house to a Jiffy Lube. LOL!!!....but ouch. I mean, seriously ouch. Come on over for a cup of tea....and a $19.95 lube job....while my husband is at work.....I'll be ready in a jiffy...

The inside was kinda' neat, but the painting of an old chair centered above a modern couch with matching pillows...a bit odd, wouldn't you say?

Now the couple that lives in this home who was kind (narcissistic?) enough to let The Capital and its many thousands of readers (and many more now that I am snarking about it) into their most private (was...private) home seem nice enough. They are probably lovely people.  I have never met them, but of course after publishing this, they may not want to meet me...except in a dark alley...or they may have me over for a cup of tea.....They are indeed a beautiful young couple. He, the spitting image of Superman Christopher Reeve and she, a dead ringer for actress Julie Hagerty (Airplane).  Anyhow, they look so perfect that I'll bet they sleep in plastic bags at night so they don't wrinkle in the morning.

The dog, well, he's okay. Same for cat. Designer animals appear to be color-coordinated. The dog, who we are told is a 7 year old Vizsla named Paget. Paget. From the look of the dog sitting at attention, and I do mean attention, I can imagine that Paget is the Hungarian word for...well, erect. I looked it up. Paget is a kind of disease, but the Vizsla breed is indeed very popular as a loyal hunting and home companion. And by the looks of Paget, for breeding purposes as well...

Anyhow, that's my snarky take. And you are always welcome to come to my home to take photos. With a realtor. And a signed contract. And a deposit check. A credit report will help too.

Go read it and see the pictures...including Paget doing his thing. And remember, they paid an architect to design this thing. The funniest yet most telling thing of all is the homewoner said the house was built around the garage doors." These are the garage doors I want," Robyn said. "The house has got to fit this - that's the design I'm looking for."

Well. Gives us all an idea of their skewed priorities in life. Build the home in which we live and for all the world to see around a door for my car.  Yuk again. Then brag about it by being in Home of The Week and admitting, yes admitting that you designed your home around garage doors! For your car....indeed. And she has a background in art and design!

See it all here:

(Do readers think I should make this pillorying of Home of The Week a regular feature? This could be fun. But, it could also be bad for business....you know, somebody might get upset and it's a small town, but hey, noboby made you be in Home of The Week....but like I said, it's a well written and popular feature in the paper. If it were not, I'd be ignoring it.)

LISTEN TO CP Publisher Paul Foer on 1430WNAV at 8:15 every weekday morning or click on the WNAV icon to the right. READ CP Publisher Paul Foer's "The Ninth Ward" every Wednesday in The Capital.www.capitalonline.com
Join us for Sip N' Blogs each THURSDAY, 8-9 am at ZU Coffee, 934 Bay Ridge Road in the Giant Shopping Ctr. February 4, Civic Activist Scott Mobley
February 11, County Executive Candidate Joanna Conti
February 18, ???


Anonymous said...

I know you won't post anonymous comments but glad you liked my Jiffy Lube comment. I enjoy your blog.

- Tyler D

Paul Foer said...

Tyler D will do....right?

Ted Anderson said...

Flag on the Play...........
Unsportsmanlike conduct on civilians.

Paul Foer said...

Ted: If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen OR People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. And if they're ugly houses, they should not be in Home of the Week. When you allow yourself to become a public figure, well...

Anonymous said...


I'd have to agree with Ted. As you know, I sell homes for a living, and a person's house is a very personal aspect of their lives - as it well should be.

It isn't just a house; it's their home, and to make fun of someone's home is like making fun of how someone looks. It can be very hurtful.

We see all kinds of homes that, personally, might not be our cup of tea. But, we always remember that the homeowner may have worked very to make their place the best it the best they can.

I don't think the pride of homeownership is something you should laugh at. It's always more fun to laugh with people, than laugh at them.

Bob McWilliams

Anonymous said...

Paul, perhaps you need to take some of your own advice. It seems that you tend to be overly critical of people upon your whims; yet when someone is critical of you on your blog, you refuse to print the comment.

This was in poor taste. Everyone's taste is different and for you to decide that you are the bastion of good taste is comical at best.

Alex Pline said...

Vive la différence. One of the great things about this area is that it is not homogeneous and we don't have overbearing community associations telling us what color we can paint our porches, the historic district and some newer pockets not withstanding. I don't personally like it either - contemporary is EXTREMELY hard to pull off well. But the last thing we want to look like is a suburb in northern VA.

That said, I have no problems with critiquing the design. I totally agree with the absurd focus on the garage doors and the underlying car culture implications, or even questioning why one would want to to hang it all out there on a blog, uh, I mean an article in the paper, but your tone is rather mean spirited. You weren't picked on as a kid by chance were you?? ;-)

Paul Foer said...

Bob Back for more abuse-eh? You are like the gift that keeps on giving. Well, here I go. You write that a person's home is very personal. I agree--so why put that personal space out for all The Capital readers to see? And I was only prompted to write after its readers wrote online to The Capital. So...uhh... what's your point this time?

Speaking of what's not our cup of tea, when are you going to join The Tea Party?
Bob, you say it's always more fun to laugh with people than laugh at them, but while reading your letters, I am not so sure...
As for "Anonymous" I publish every signed/attributed comment I get (except from Craig Purcell), and always welcome comments that disagree with me IF they are attributed, which in this case--YOURS--they are not. However, just to prove my point I am publishing your comment--which is against my clearly and often stated policy.
I am so pleased you feel that what I wrote is "comical". That was the intention. You are telling me I succeeded. Thank you for the kind comment.
Alex..thank you as always for your comments. Of course I was picked on as a kid. Were not we all picked on as kids? We all deal with it in different ways. I have channeled my anger and resentment into biting sarcasm and wit. However, if readers prefer, I could just as easily have become a psychopathological criminal. Or worse. I might have become a politician. But I prefer to skewer conventional wisdom and elected officials rather than mercilessly abuse poor helpless, innocent people. I leave that to politicans...(and realtors such as Bob). No--I was just kidding on the last one. I like realtors. My sister is a realtor and she is lovely.
Thank you all--and again, comments disagreeing with me will get published, but if you can't stand behind what you write, which I do everyday, why do you desver to get the free audience here that exists because of the marvelous internet--and my sewat and blood (and because I was picked on as a child....as if you were not!)

Anonymous said...

Just because people are proud of their home and consent to display it in the Capital doesn't make it ok for people, who apparently didn't learn any manners from their mommy, to attack them.

The anonymity of the internet is not permission for a lack of civility.

I doubt Tyler D would say "face to face" with these homeowners the kind of stuff he scribbles in a blog.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but we are all also entitled to a little common courtesy.

Bob McWilliams

Paul Foer said...

As I said earlier Bob, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen and people in glass houses should not throw stones. I do however agree with you about the anonymity of the internet. See, I'm not afraid to say we agree on some things. Never have been. And may I remind you--yet again--that my repeated invitation to you to write regularly on this blog have never been answered. And you presume to lecture me about manners. Will wonders never cease?

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