From our police reports (red type is my emphasis):
Robbery - On Thursday, March 11, 2010 at 6:17 PM officers went to the area of President and Madison Streets to meet with a complainant who said that he had been robbed. The victim stated that he was on the sidewalk of President Street when he was approached by two subjects who assaulted him and removed U.S. currency from his pocket. The victim said that during the struggle, one subject produced a weapon. The subjects fled on foot in the direction of Harbor House. The ensuing investigation produced a suspect, Robert Richard Williams, DOB 08/18/1965. Williams was in possession of a meat thermometer that matched the victim’s description of the weapon used in the robbery. Williams was placed under arrest and charged with Armed Robbery, 1st Degree Assault, 2nd Degree Assault, Reckless Endangerment and Theft less than $1,000.00.
I think we must pass emergency legislation to outlaw meat thermometers. Suggestion to judge. Place perpetrator in slow cook cell and cook until done. Use the weapon to test.....OK OK....don't get riled up. I'm just kidding. Did he use the pointed end or the read-out end to threaten the victim? Maybe this thermometer should be used in the perp's.....oh never mind. What will they use next--letter openers? Staplers? Spatulas? But seriously this was at 6:17 pm!! GOOD POLICE WORK!!!!
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2 Comments:
Paul--you joke, but apparently this is an epidemic. The meat thermometer bandits are everywhere.
Dang!! All the more reasons to ban meat thermometers...in fact, let's ban meat as well...let's outlaw temperature!! And certainly violent movies...either that or give the guy the electric fork for punishment. yes, the electric fork. You read it here first.
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