No news is.....well, no news! ~ Annapolis Capital Punishment

Thursday, September 9, 2010

No news is.....well, no news!

It Must Have Been A Slow News Month....or summer....or was it just an excuse to write something, anything about Mayor Josh Cohen???

I've never been much of a fan of hifalutin "lifestyle" magazines and Maryland seems to have plenty of them, no doubt due to our hifalutin average incomes. One of these, Whats Up Annapolis? may have some redeeming features, but its narcissistic, status-obsessed appeal to those with high disposable incomes is not one of them.

The first four pages of the magazine are full-page color ads for dentistry and plastic surgery. The fifth for home improvement, the sixth for more orthodontia, and the next ad for "creative cosmetic dentistry" says:

confident whites
Enhance your life." 

Confident whites enhance your life???  Uh, don't go there, puhleeze. The next ad is also for dentistry, then luxury condominiums , landscape services that emphasize pavers and hard-paving...and, you get the picture.  Well we know who reads that publication. The same demographic cross-section that also reads this cheesey blog but is more concerned about their government than about organizing their closets or getting root canal.

Oops, the next ad is also for esthetic dentistry, a restaurant and a Center for Vein Restoration. Yes. Vein. Not vain. You're so vain. You probably think this post was about you...dontcha?

Its online blog version has exciting topics such as "Have you had your first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season?" or  "Don't fear zucchini—embrace it". It does foray into more serious and mundane topics and despite its emphasis and raison d'etre of conspicuous consumption, it portrays itself as being environmentally conscious despite its many ads and text promoting enormous homes, luxury cars and landscaping by brick and mortar.

Sometimes it even delves into political news coverage such as on page 28 in its August issue under the odd headline of "Root Cellar". We see a silhouette photo of a man in a suit peering out the window of a skyscraper office. The caption below reads "Who's That Mayor?"

Well, if it is a photo of a mayor, it's one in a very big city, maybe Baltimore or even New York but it's certainly not our own City Hall on little old Duke of Gloucester Street which onje would expect in a rag titled What's Up Annapolis?  The text reads:

When the mayor of Annapolis takes a vacation or short leave of absence from city grounds, he must issue an ordinance proclaiming an acting mayor until his or her return. Mayor Josh Cohen recently did just that when he took a three-day vacay [yes a 'vacay' is what they said.] this summer.

The article explains that Alderman Kenny Kirby became acting mayor and provides the text of the pertinent city code.  (Hey how did we survive that weekend anyhow?)

I guess that's What's Up Annapolis? in a slow news month. Need I say more???? Yes. I guess I do have to say one thing in their favor--they sure manage to sell some ads. Of course they do have a large staff to do it all, mainly composed of attractive women too--which may explain how they afford to keep them on--I mean because they sell a lot of ads! What were you thinking? Maybe I should turn this cheesey blog into a hifalutin, lifestyle blog. I'll begin by writing about the stylish fashions of our city council, because one day, they each may serve as acting acting mayor, in place of the acting mayor....if he goes on another vacay!

DISCLAIMER: The folks who put out that magazine are nice people and I am only writing in my usual snarky manner because I am the little guy struggling to get by bringing you news about what really matters......rigghhhhht....

Look here for frequent updates to all the 2010 election campaigns with 2010 Elections Again! LISTEN TO CP Publisher Paul Foer on 1430WNAV at 8:15 every weekday morning or click on the WNAV icon to the right, press On demand and On The Foerfront to listen. READ CP Publisher Paul Foer's "The Ninth Ward" every Wednesday in The Capital at Identified comments are always welcome. ALL ANONYMOUS COMMENTS will be automatically rejected without being opened.


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