Annapolis Capital Punishment

One hundred thousand blog hits

by Paul M Foer @2009

(this was read to the mayoral candidates at the debate...)

One hundred thousand blog hits
Which in city hall, is giving them fits
Sometimes there’s a typo or misspellin’
But sometime next year, we won’t be picking on Miss Ellen

Instead we’ll be writing about one of yous
And finding what’s false, and what’s trues
As well as expressing our views
We’re just reporting the news

You won’t be protected
Once you’ve been elected
Cause politics can’t be neglected
Freedom of speech must be protected

Like a plague of locusts, of vermin and frogs
Here comes the attack of the killer blogs
To those in power, keeping us in thrall
Who speak from on high, from within City Hall
Beware! Beware what comes forth from Paul

My words are typed, and then I hit send
They go out, they are read by F-O-E or by friend

Before they’re read I know what they meant
and then off they are sent
To do their Capital Punishment

But in order to do their deed
It is you who must read
Then you decide whether to lead, heed, bleed
or you decide to ignore it
But don’t just sit there, do something, I implore it
And decide if you are against it, or if you are for it

And now, not to miss a beat
For you I try to write something funny
Remember my family has to eat
Please don’t forget I have to make some money

Comedians and writers everywhere out of work
I hope you see value in what I am doing
And show up those who just think I’m a jerk
I can’t keep it up for free

In order to do this political unmasking
Unlike government I can’t charge a fee
So it is for your help I am asking
Please make a donation, show me your support
buy an ad, buy me lunch, help me hold down the fort
Pay my lawyer, please keep me out of court

Before they’re read I know what they meant
and then off they are sent
To do their Capital Punishment

But yours truly, your humble servant, your water carrier, your thorn in the side,
your muckraking, crusading, zealous guide
your investigative, not afraid to say it like it is writer is dishing it out
The more of you reading, the more we all have clout

You get my news and opinion each day
You get Capital Punishment
But I still have to pay the rent

You read OhNine Online
and you think it is fine
But I don’t have a gold mine

You get Capital Punishment
But I still have to pay the rent
You get my news and opinion each day
And you never, never have to pay
And so I ask you tonight
to make a donation
I love to serve you, fellow Annapolitans, the public, the nation

I paid for this room
and made it all happen
But I still need a place to (rhymes with happen)

you won’t be disappointed
cause whoever gets anointed
the one you selected
the one who’s elected
from me can’t be protected
the people won’t be neglected
toward you our scrutiny will be directed
and we hope power does not get you infected

We start this all over with a new crew and cast
focused on future and not on past
and four more years a new mayor to last
I’ll be writing you in a new cyber blast

Before my words are read I know what they meant
and then off they are sent
To do their Capital Punishment

You get my news and opinion each day
You get Capital Punishment
But I still have to pay the rent

Won’t you please give me a dollar—a cent?
I swear, until proven guilty, we’re all innocent

(I hope you enjoyed it. Sure it's a little mercenary...but it's true...)