If Cohen, Cordle Or Fox Were Boats....What Kind Would They Be? ~ Annapolis Capital Punishment

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

If Cohen, Cordle Or Fox Were Boats....What Kind Would They Be?

My Ninth Ward column in today's The Capital takes a light-hearted look at the mayoral candidates from a nautical perspective. I invite readers to go online or pick up a news-stand copy. And thanks to all the readers who responded with their thoughts. The best submission I got was so good that I saved it for here. It came from a community activist, but as I stated, all contributions would not be attributed, thus this reader will remain anonymous (READ ON...)

The Queen Moyer –  old wooden boat, has run aground, leaking from all sides. With a few die-hard sailors walking around the deck saluting, One sailor in a $1800 suit, trying to look good but doesn’t want to get her hands (or suit dirty). Another sailor is counting money, but can't tell the difference between $10 and $20 – has to ask the captain – “What pile should I put this in? ”.  The two crew members keep offering bundles of money to groups on the shore while they pretend to sail the ship. Message to observers, “We’ll give you this, we’ll give you that, if you please vote for us. Send us more of those green things with dead presidents."  Observers on the land wonder what planet they are on.

The General Cordle –An armor-plated attack boat, has been building up its arsenal for last 8 years. Quietly sitting at anchor, occasionally moving out into the waters for a brief skirmish, then quietly waiting for next battle.  Guns only fire from the right side of the boat, and tend to ignore small, nimble craft moving to the left, pillaging the country side.

The Sly Fox –small sail boat, operates only from 2 am to 6 am,, circles around the armor-plated attack boat, hits the bigger boats every few minutes with small rocks.   Noticeable from land because Captain is wearing large Napoleon hat, 3 sizes too big. Growing gathering of young people on land and drinking Rum are all helping to build a bigger boat for Captain Fox.

The Ocean Cruiser.  54’ feet long, Captain dressed in coat and tie. Captain holds a small wooden ship's wheel – and turns it back and forth, however the wheel is not connected to anything. Group of 4 people and one very large person try to stay out of sight are sitting in the cockpit holding the tiller and they actually steer the boat. The well-dressed Captain makes short stops from one port to the next, always looking for the bigger, nicer port, but sadly the Captain does not stay long enough to finish dinner before sailing off to the next port. Boat changes course frequently depending on direction of the wind. Many small tenders float along side, polishing the hull, and deflecting rocks.  When Captain is asked where he is going, he smiles, thanks the person for the question, but before he can answer, one of his helpers answers the question for him.  Observers calls from shore and asks, "Where will you go next", and the answer comes back  “Where do you think I should go?”
Very Funny!

Now, if I were a boat...hmmm...hmmm....I'm thinking I'd be a PT boat as in Patrol-Torpedo, also known as Motor-Torpedo or as some might say "Paul's Terror". The PT boat was lightly built but carefully engineered and pound for pound, was the most heavily-armed boat in World War 2. The PT boat worked in a fairly small area as it burned a lot of fuel and had a relatively short range. They were best  at cruising slowly and quietly and then opening up her four engines, many guns and torpedoes on more powerful targets, which in Naval parlance are known as "Capital Ships." In this way their squadrons came to be known as The Mosquito Fleet or even as "Giant Killers".

The most famous PT commander was Lt. John F. Kennedy of PT 109, who was respected by his crew but often found himself in trouble with superior officers. That may have been similar to Commander Quentin McHale of PT 73 who was the nemesis of Captain Binghampton and his sniveling sidekick Ensign. Some of the Vosper PT boats were built here in Annapolis, mainly for the Russian Navy. Take this message to Rendova and tell them it's from Kennedy!
Read The Ninth Ward at:

LISTEN TO CP Publisher Paul Foer on 1430WNAV at 8:15 every weekday morning.
READ CP Publisher Paul Foer's "The Ninth Ward" every Wednesday in The Capital
JOIN US EACH THURSDAY 8-9 am for our Sip N' Blogs normally at ZU Coffee, 934 Bay Ridge Road, Annapolis, Maryland, in the Giant Shopping Center. Oct. 15--Josh Cohen, Oct 22--Chris Fox (at Sly Fox Pub)
Oct 29--Dave Cordle. Stop by on your way to work for your morning latte and meet other local activists. Zu now has a drive-through window!


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